War of the terrible twos…

I have three kids: nineteen, seventeen and two. I also have a dog, age eight, so technically I have four kids. Of the four, my two year old is by far the biggest handful. She’s loud and boisterous, plays really rough, tosses clothes and toys and anything else she can find and has the really annoying habit of running off DIRECTLY TOWARDS THE STREET! These are the things that annoy me the most since I fully expected, from previous experience, to deal with the issues of tantrums, fights for independence and resisting authority. The problem is, I’m struggling to stay sane since she’s throwing so many other behavior issues at me that I didn’t have to deal with with the other kids (boys), at least not until later. It’s almost as if she is developing at a much faster rate than the boys and now that I’m much older and slower, albeit wiser and more patient, she is throwing so much at me at once I’m feeling out-matched and overwhelmed.

There are days I can DEAL and keep all the madness in check: barking orders, explaining consequences for bad behavior, doling out punishment for ignoring aforementioned consequences, and of course executing executive orders since I am the president and commander in chief of my household.  Then there are days I have no problem with her at all: she’ll be sweet, kind, respectful, and an absolute princess, which leaves me with a euphoric happily-ever-after feeling that I’m doing okay as a parent. However,  there are times I can barely get out of bed just from sheer exhaustion and I have no fight in me at all. I’ll look at her having a meltdown over WHATEVER and all I want to do is have a meltdown of my own…just lay on the ground flailing  around as I scream at the top of my lungs. Come to think of it, I might have to try that one day…

Well it’s safe to say that I’ve met my match with this little girl. She has made me question my sanity, and hers, on many occasions, and she has already learned how to push my buttons in ways that only her father (separated, soon to be ex-husband) knew how to do and that worries me tremendously. This behavior she exhibits at age two is the exact behavior he exhibits at age forty two which leaves me bewildered. Is it possible that his upbringing was a hit and miss, leave him to do whatever he wanted, no behavior correction type of parenting? Or was he just incapable of being trained despite his parents’ best efforts? Is this how my daughter will be in the next forty years regardless of my best efforts to instill values, decency and self control in her now? Or did something happen to her father to flip his script which transformed him into the monster he became? Either way I’m worried and I think for good reason– her genetic makeup is fifty percent his!

My mom, a hard-core christian, has taken it upon herself to pray consistently for her (and me) because she believes it’s only the mercy and love of God that can keep my monster child (my words, not my mom’s) calm and transform her into a decent human being despite having genes that give her a predisposition to be beyond control. Her brothers (from previous marriage) and daycare teachers think she’ll be just fine and say this is just a phase she’ll soon outgrow (from their lips to God’s ears). And I say, “This is war!” It’s messy, it’s exhausting, it’s ridiculously frustrating, and I’m not sure who’s going to ultimately win. I guess only time will tell and I am extremely grateful for that since I still have time to mold her. But in the mean time may God help us!

Contents written: 11/22/2014  |  Copyright 2014 Moylom Enterprises

5 thoughts on “War of the terrible twos…”

  1. My first son was much like you describe. The street thing had to be addressed, and I broke my no spanking rule–made no difference. So I got the leash. “Safety bracelet” is what I called it, and that was fine. A life changer for us both. I no longer had to worry about losing him every moment.

    You have my sympathy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I tried the leash (safety bracelet) and that escalated the tantrums. Think screaming kid tethered to one hand with dog tethered to the other. It became a spectacle and cause for much stress. I eventually started taking the stroller everywhere so that even if she started off walking, when she misbehaved she went into the stroller and was buckled in. That way even if she cried I could move along at a normal pace with the dog as opposed to coming to a complete standstill because she would just have a meltdown WHEREVER!

      Thankfully she is now 3 1/2 so most of the tantrums are gone — more reasoning now which is a nice change of pace.

      Thanks for reading. Have a nice weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sounds like you came up with a workable solution. I had it far easier, for I had Irish twins who kept each other amused. My sister had one like yours. An adult now, she is a happy, functioning adult–but still a drama queen.

        Liked by 1 person

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