This is the first installment of this series. As I share with you a little more about myself over the next few weeks, I hope you enjoy all the little things that make me ‘ME’.
I love music and my taste varies widely depending on my mood. Classical, Christian contemporary, Gospel, R & B, and many more genres of which you’ll be thoroughly surprised.
Of late, my go-to source of music has been klove.com as I find the music there speaks to my soul and offers much needed solace as I make my way to the other side of this valley I’ve found myself in. This is one of my favorite songs and all I do is close my eyes and let the music transport me along the path with a smile. Share in my joy, even for a moment. Enjoy ^_^
By Big Daddy Weave
Contents written: July 18 2015 | Edited: July 21 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises
So its summer and no one is thinking about school right now, not even the Mayor (I boldly assume)!
My assistant saw him over the weekend at the Grace Jamaican Jerk Festival, at Roy Wilkins Park in Queens on Sunday, July 19 2015. He was accompanied by his darling wife and seemed to be enjoying the festivities immensely as he towered over the crowd certainly more than 6 feet tall.
So my letter probably hasn’t made its way to the top of the pile just yet. So we wait — Patiently — Pondering my next move. A petition was already suggested by Carrie (http://carrierubin.com/) but since I haven’t met any of the other parents yet, that may have to wait until schools starts in the fall (plus being an introvert means agony over talking to so many people, sigh…).
What do you think I should do now? Enjoy the rest of my Summer and keep a lookout for the good Mayor, that’s what! Perhaps I’ll see Mr Mayor frolicking in NYC visiting another NYC event some day soon. And now that I have his Facebook page info I can probably reach out via that medium as well. But until then, Happy Summer everyone! Be safe and stay tuned.
For tickets to the Grace Jamacian Jerk Festival in 2016 click here: http://www.jerkfestivalny.com/tickets/
Contents written: July 18 2015 | Edited: July 22 & 24 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises
Yesterday, in one of our marathon phone conversations which meandered from one topic to the next, we eventually landed on the topic of family and friends. At that point I informed mom that should any relatives begin inquiring of my whereabouts and/or well being in the upcoming months it would be because I’ve stopped making it a top priority to check on them on a regular basis. Why? Because I’ve drawn a line in the sand and it’s been long overdue. You know what she said? “I don’t blame you?”
Someone told me once that I care too much and I was shocked that those words were said about me. I don’t know how to NOT care — it’s the way I was made. I always go above and beyond and it’s just the way I am. My clients have said how much they appreciate that quality, but for some reason family and friends take advantage of my kindness or simply don’t appreciate it. But with age comes wisdom and I’m now understanding what that individual meant, which leads me to the new-found explanation of those words heard so long ago:
It’s not that I care too much but that I need to be more wise about the things and people I care about.
Hmm… why didn’t I understand this years ago? Perhaps because I spent so many of those years trying to make everyone happy not realizing the impossible task with which I burdened myself.
Caring takes a lot of energy and emotion. It forces one to put oneself in another’s shoes to truly understand, if only slightly, what that person is going through and what they need to feel better if down or to share in celebration of the good times. For some reason I’m good at that, and many folks have often asked if I am/was a nurse. (I actually thought of becoming a nurse once, but later discovered I was trying to fulfill my mom’s dream not my own. But that a whole other post!!!). No I’m not a nurse, it’s just a God-given gift I guess, just something that comes naturally.
So, now I’ve begun the task of eliminating those folks who fail to understand that emails, phone calls, what’s app, viber, text messages, Facebook messenger and all other modes of communication WORK BOTH WAYS!!! I am no longer going to be the only one to reach out, I’ve done it that way for too long and now it must stop. If the thought never crosses their minds to say hello and actually do so then I too will not do so. A friend recently reminded me how awful it is to “give to the point of resentment “. Yes I know, I know, God loves a cheerful giver, and all these years I HAVE been cheerful about the care and consideration I gave to others. I didn’t care if those folks reciprocated, I was just happy to remember their birthdays, anniversaries and delighted to check in to see how they were doing. But how come they never remember to inquire about me? And that right there is the problem and why “the line” needed to be drawn.
I’m not the needy type; I don’t ask for anything; I’m independent and never in trouble (not much anyways) so I’m wondering if folks automatically think I’m OK and there’s no need to check on me. Well I’m not gonna sit here and speculate, I don’t have time for that. As I get older I’m less tolerant of the lack of consideration shown by others and as such have drawn a line to signify my decision.
Wow, I just reread the above and boy do I sound angry! Well I am. It’s time to worry about my needs after all these years of neglect by others and sadly by me.
I messaged a very dear lady whom I was fortunate to meet during a very dark period of my life a few years ago. I’ve been so grateful for her support that I always check in with her from time to time. She actually got angry with me for speaking mostly of my kids and not of myself. She said,
Everytime I hear from you, you go on and on about the kids, about how well they’re doing and how much they’re thriving but what about you? How are you? How is your personal life? Are you dating? Are you working on a life separate from your kids? I hope you’re not locking yourself away from love? Please know that you deserve love too!
At first I got upset that she had somehow set a timetable for my life without my permission. Here I was thinking my personal life was my own! (Aside from WordPress of course). I knew fully well that I’m not ready for all that, and unsure as to when or if I ever will be. I’m still learning to trust again, terrified of failing as a parent — a single parent — and only capable of worrying about one day at a time given everything else I have on my plate. Dating and new relationships take time, and I’m not ready to invest such a valuable asset (my time) without adequate returns. I know my dear friend means well so I’m not angry that she was stern but I need to spend a little more time weeding my garden so the beautiful flowers can bloom and be seen — I’m gonna spend some time pampering “me”.
So here’s to laying the dead to rest to make room for the living — new life — new beginnings! Here’s to moving on at my own pace, one step at a time.
Thank you Ms K for caring enough to be stern. I’m not mad. Happier updates ahead I promise! ((Hugs)) ^_^
Contents written July 15 2015 | Edited: July 18 & 21 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises
Tomorrow, if the good Lord allows my eyes to open to see another day, I will be celebrating another birthday – – the big 41!!
I’ve survived a lot to get here and I have much for which I’m thankful. I won’t bore you with those details for if you’ve been following for a while you already know my journey has been arduous. But on a lighter note I must admit that I’ve changed. How? Well the little dustings of silver that once sent me for the tweezers to Pluck away all evidence of aging, has now become little streaks of silver aka salt n pepper. I am now in the valley of decision as to whether I should start coloring my hair or if I should accept my new look and bravely age gracefully.
There is a librarian at our local branch whom I admire tremendously. Whenever I see her, her salt n pepper hair is always done up so nicely in one updo or another, her makeup is always impeccable but suitable and she’s always dressed fashionably appropriate for her slim-fit body. And of course, she’s always vibrant and smiling. She exudes confidence and is just a pleasure to observe — I want to be her! I want to be the woman who owns her self — is confident, is comfortable in her own skin, is vibrant, is cheerful, is 60, 70, 80 and a pleasure to be around!
So today, I’ve made myself a cake, I’ll spend a bit of time pampering my hands and feet with munchkin getting in on the action, and tomorrow back to work (unfortunately my birthday is not a national holiday… At least not yet… Up next a letter to the president on this very important matter lol) but I do resolve to accept the streaks that have come to usher me into a new era of my life and try my hand at aging gracefully. Wish me luck!
Now join in as I sing LOUDLY,
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me.
In How dare you ask me to choose??!! — Part 1, I discussed my confusion of having to choose the ethnicity of my daughter while registering her for Pre-K. I vowed to send a letter to the Mayor, which I did, and here’s what I wrote:
Dear Mayor De Blasio,
I sincerely appreciate all your efforts to effect change in New York City since your election to office. However, as I am new to the NYC School System via my daughter now being enrolled for Pre-K, I was dumb-founded when asked to only choose ONE option for her ethnicity (pre-k application questionnaire) when she is clearly a combination of two. The kind lady handling my application politely explained that the computer system will only accept one option so I must choose only ONE. She further explained that many other parents have also found this quite unsettling but are fully aware that it is not the fault of the school itself but the fault of an outdated system.
I found this to be very unfair and quite absurd since we are in 2015 and bi-racial families have existed for many, many years. Why has the school system that profiles our kids and ultimately the ethnic composition of the families in our city not yet been updated to reflect and accept such a vital aspect of the survey system?
Please Mayor, I humbly ask that this be addressed so parents are not put in the horrible position of choosing the ethnicity of their bi-racial child(ren). If not for that reason but also consider my request for the simple fact that the survey does not accurately depict the ethnic composition of the children comprising our NYC Schools.
Mayor, I do hope you are having a wonderful Summer so far and look forward to more wonderful changes for our beloved city in your mayoral days ahead.
Blessings to you and your lovely family.
I see now that I should have sat on this letter a couple days before sending as there are a few changes I should have made, but alas, I was able to send this letter via an online portal, and received an automated response to my email address. However, I sit now with bated breath not sure if I will receive an actual response from the Mayor’s office.
Do you think the Mayor/mayor’s office will respond? What do you think he would say? What do you think he should say? Am I in over my head? Should I have curtailed my activism to the occasional call to 311 to report a malfunctioning crosswalk signal or the fire hydrant open to full blast running for days? Hmm, dunno, but this event really bothered me and I’m not sure I can rest if it’s not addressed. Oh well, we’ll see… stay tuned for Part 3!
Contents written: June 23 2015 | Edited: June 26 & June 30 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises