Questions and confessions

Image source: Google imagesearch (dollupbeauty.com)
Image source: Google imagesearch (dollupbeauty.com)

In Part 1 of this series of posts, I completed the first 2 tasks as per the rules (as seen below)

Image Source: Moylom Enterprises Digital Art
Image Source: Moylom Enterprises Digital Art

So in this installment I will delve into task #3 — answering my nominator’s questions. Here goes…

Task 3:

Answer the eleven (11) questions posed to you by your nominator:

Q #1: What was your turning point that brought you to Christ?

A: I was born into a Christian household but as I grew up in the ‘faith’ I started to resent the ‘religion’ aspect of Christianity. So many rules, being shunned by the people who convinced themselves they were better that others because they ‘belonged’ to a religious organization. Then there was the aspect of every religion claiming they are the ‘right’ one to follow. It all left a bad taste in my mouth and once I left home I chose not to follow a particular religion but to seek God out on my own. I must admit though, that it took years for me to get to the point of wanting to know God for myself, but 3 yrs ago, after a significant traumatic event, which forced me to flee for my safety, I discovered that HE was with me in a very dark moment and has never left my side. It is safe to say HE has always been there but it was I who strayed to questionable paths away from HIM. I began to read the BIBLE again from the beginning and the experience and knowledge I’ve gained by studying HIS word for myself (not guided by others and what they want me to see) has been a blessing beyond measure. I still have a very long way to go (side-tracked a bit since I discovered WordPress), but the journey has made me realize that I am not alone, HE is always with me.

Q #2:  What is your favorite hymn or praise song?

A: I have many songs of praise that make me feel closer to God but the one I enjoy immensely is Greater by MercyMe. It makes me wanna sing and dance like David did as he sang praises to God. My little one and I sing and dance to this together. What fun!!!

Q #3: What do you love most about writing?

A: Writing has always been the easiest way for me to express myself in an organized way. I was very shy as a kid (introverted — still am) and always found it less stressful to be in smaller, intimate settings as opposed to larger crowds. When I tried to speak, (without having rehearsed it first, or without a written speech), my words seemed to not come out right. Writing gives me time to ‘word’ my thoughts accurately so they flow smoothly giving the illusion that I’m as coherent in real life. I still tend to ‘fumble’ my way around in new settings, but once I  become more comfortable with those around me my words flow a lot more easily. Writing gives me the safety I need to be myself — my true self (or someone else, should I choose to delve into fiction which I’ve done on occasion).

Q #4: What are you most passionate about in life?

A: I’m ‘notoriously’ independent. Ask anyone who knows me well and they’ll testify to that. I come from a family of ‘control freaks’ and in many ways I am one too. But I aim to be in control of myself — be independent and I detest the idea of trying to control others. My family (large extended family) has a way of using the ‘gang mentality’ to get one person, who is not going along with everyone else, to do what the ‘gang’ wants. One has to fight tooth and nail to escape their clutches and once out you better stay far away to not get sucked back in. I left home at 19 and never went back! It was the only way to earn their respect for if one wanted to be treated like an adult one had to act like one QUICK! They try to pull me back in from time to time (“When are you coming home to visit? Everyone is dying to meet the baby! Are you planning to move back home? Who’s gonna take care of your mom if anything happens now that your dad is gone?”) Oh they’re good, but I know better! Yes I stay in touch often but keep my distance. And the minute I feel like I’m being controlled by ANYONE my first instinct is to escape. An unfortunate side effect of my upbringing, yes, but one that has helped me survive on my own all these years. It is perhaps the primary reason I became and have remained self-employed for most of my adult life. Surprisingly though, I do have a healthy respect for rules (as long as I agree with them ^_^) which is strange since rules ARE a ‘form’ of control. But I guess one needs order/discipline to be in control of one’s self and my OCD is testament to that. A place for everything and everything in its place is the mantra that plays nonstop in my head — it’s how I function — chaos gives me mental hives!!!

Q #5: Who is your favorite author?

A: Mark Twain is my favorite author. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn are the only books I’ve read over and over and over again both in childhood and adulthood. I love the way Tom Sawyer makes things more complicated than they need to be simply for the thrill of an adventure. I’m always thoroughly amused by his antics ^_^. Of course I’ve read other books, too many to mention here, but not as often as the two above. Yes I’m weird, I know!

Q #6: What is your favorite guilty pleasure snack?

A: Cadbury Fruit and Nut Chocolate. I hide this from the kids. This is one treat I don’t share! I’m not kidding!

Image Source: Yahoo image (http://www.onlyhdwallpaperss.com/)
Image Source: Yahoo image (http://www.onlyhdwallpaperss.com/)

Q #7: Who would you most enjoy meeting and having a deep conversation with?

A: Since I no longer have any desire to meet celebrities as most are not pleasant in person, there’s a toss-up between Job (of the Bible) and God. Job is my hero! With everything he experienced he never turned away from God. That man had some serious patience! I wish I knew how to bottle that!!! There are times when I feel similar to Job especially with all the crap trials I endured the last 3 yrs, but I’m trying to hold on and keep my eyes on Jesus and Job is my inspiration. Ultimately though , I’d love to meet God. I have a ton of questions for HIM. Plus I think HE has a weird sense of humor! I often find myself whispering, “Good one God, that was hilarious, you got me!” I’m hard-headed, so HE has to leave me up to my own antics (much like Tom Sawyer) so I can learn the hard way. Often the answer is right in front of my face, but I can’t see it since I think the answer needs to be complicated and in need of much effort. Smh…

Q #8: What accomplishment in your life has been most impactful?

A: Hmm, another toss-up between being a mom and being in business. As a mom, I’m terrified I would eventually ruin my kids. There is no manual or fool-proof method of child-rearing since each kid is different and requires different parenting techniques. It’s quite challenging! So too I find I’m as attached to my business as though it were a kid. I’ve been in business (Self-employed) since 1997 — started from scratch — it’s my baby. I’ve grown in so many ways because of it that I’m often surprised that I’ve come so far. I’ve learned to stand up for myself — to be more outspoken, to be more eloquent as I’m forced to meet and communicate with a wide variety of clients. I’ve become a bit tougher and have learned to say ‘no’ so not to burn myself out. I’ve learned to let my work speak for itself instead of chasing clients — Word of mouth is my main form of advertisement and it has produced the best customers. I’ve had a good run and one day I may tell the story of how my business was started somewhat accidentally! (Although I believe there are really no accidents but it’s all part of God’s grand design).

Q #9: What scripture has helped you most in your life?

A: The Lord is my Shepherd (Psalms 23). Though I don’t say it often I believe those words wholeheartedly and they gave me solace in the dark, (very very dark) hours of March 15 2012 — the day I almost lost my life at the hands of my then husband (archived posts will tell more on this topic).

Q #10: What does mercy and grace look like to you?

A: Mercy and Grace? See previous answer. Were it not for God’s mercy and grace I would not be alive today (See archived posts for more details). Even though I’ve been given a second chance, I still mess up more often than I’d like to admit. My burden seems more than I can bear sometimes and I’ve gotten angry at God, lost faith, and have dismissed the voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to me. There are times, because I can’t understand the lesson I’m supposed to learn, I in my infinite wisdom aka stupidity, act like God is just leaving me to the will of the Devil as a Job-like experiment just for laughs!  Of course only the devil delights in our misery and we are all tested in our faith, as the Christian walk is not without it’s trials, but I get angry at God asking HIM boldly “How much more am I supposed to bear before I can finally be happy?? ” HIS mercy, to me, is the fact that I’m not struck down for questioning HIS omniscience. I know better but sometimes I feel like one of the ‘children of Israel’ stuck in the wilderness for 40 yrs — the irony here is that I too am 40 — interesting! The reason they were stuck is because there were lessons they needed to learn but they were too hard-headed. There is where God extends HIS mercy and grace, by giving us time to get our act together — to learn the lesson(s) we need to so we can move on to the next phase. It’s up to us to grasp the knowledge, but alas I’m a slow learner and God is patiently waiting. What’s the cure for hardheadedness? Anyone? I hear someone whispering, “Giving up control”. Oh boy, more irony, sigh… Yup, another good one God! Yeah you got me good  ^_^

Q #11: How does it feel to receive this honor to you?

A: Well, you read the opening lines in installment 1 of this assignment as I tried to put a funny spin to the whole thing. But honestly I was secretly hoping to not be selected because it seemed like so much work. Then as I glanced through the list I didn’t notice our name (Inner Ramblings) so I was relieved. Then 5 seconds later I was like, “What? How come Marisa didn’t choose our blog too? I thought we were friends?” So I read the list again, and there was our name all along! Then my thoughts went right back to, OMG this is so much work! The human condition, I wonder if there’s a pill for that? (lol). But honestly, I am honored. It turns out I rather enjoyed the exercise and managed to squeeze 3 posts out of too — how’s that for multitasking???? ^_^

So those are my answers.  Hope you enjoyed learning a bit more about me. I would love to be less hidden and perhaps share a picture of myself, but alas my safety is at stake, sorry… Perhaps one day soon (fingers crossed) but in the mean time you can call me “A”.

Stay tuned for the next installment in which I’ll reveal my 11 nominees. Until then be well…

Best wishes,

A @ Moylom Enterprises

Contents written: July 26 2015  |  Edited: July 28 & 29 & August 1 2015  |  Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises

7 thoughts on “Questions and confessions”

    1. Thanks for reading! It’s a daily struggle to let go and let God. My independence and strong will often get in the way. I’m so much more in tune with what God wants for me when I just mellow out and let HIM lead. One step and one day at a time is all any of us can do. Appreciate your comments. Be well…

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s