I spoke of you…

I spoke of you yesterday…
She saw your picture and asked,
“Is that my daddy ?”
I said mostly nice things about you —
Why burden her with the evil you did?
She’s too young to understand anyway.
In time she will know, but for now I spoke kind words.

For a split second I missed you ,
I missed us, I missed our family,
I missed the future I thought we would have had.
But, like a puff of smoke, that feeling was gone
Replaced by the pain you caused .
Yet I spoke kindly of you to her
Just because it was what she needed,
She needed her daddy.

*Originally published July 2015

Contents written: July 8 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises


17 thoughts on “I spoke of you…”

  1. Been here. Only grace can cause those good words to come and cover a hurtful situation. The older she gets, the more she will see, know, and understand. And, even as my children have gained that sense their biological father wronged us, I try to maintain an attitude of prayer. God bless you, friend. Keep fighting the good fight. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hmm, is that what that is? Grace? I just thought that the chaos of life and struggle were wearing away what’s left of the fighter in me. Hmm, grace huh? Guess you’re right! My love for her is cerrtainly greater than the ill feelings I have for him. And lately I’m a lot less angry. Guess the forgiveness part of my recovery is approaching. Oh what a journey this has been…

      Thanks so much for always being a source of strength, wisdom and encouragement. Be well and stay blessed 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I sometimes wonder if it is a miscarriage of “justice” to paint fabrications about somebody. I did it for years….about my childrens’ daddy and his mama. Finally, I stopped. When his mama and daddy were no longer allowed to visit, my children knew why…she was an abusive drunk. I didn’t cover up what their “daddy” did to me (although he pleaded with me not to tell anybody.) When I left him, they knew why.
    Now that they’re older…they make their own choices of who they let into their lives. Unfortunately….they have been mislead by “those people” who don’t shrink in THEIR efforts to paint ME as somebody who is insane…and “they” succeeded. My children chose “them.”
    Would I go back and do things differently…lie to them? No.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry for all the hurt you’ve endured. Life can certainly be cruel.

      I don’t lie to my daughter. At 4 there are things she understands and some things too graphic to tell to a child that age. She sees pictures of when her dad and I were happy before she was born and while I was pregnant with her, so I tell her of those good days so she knows she was conceived out of love and that her dad and I loved each other once.

      Then she’ll ask, in her 4 yr old way, why her dad isn’t here. So I’ll tell her he was mean to me and is now on a very very long time out.

      She’ll dig deeper, asking what mean thing he did. Then I’ll explain only the things her young mind can comprehend. I don’t lie to her, because to do so she’ll grow to resent me. She will know more as she gets older but for now I don’t volunteer information I simply wait for her to ask. I want her to develop her own thoughts based on facts, good and bad, not just all negative or all positive. I think going to either extreme can have equally damaging consequences.

      Thanks so much for sharing a bit of yourself and your story. I so cherish these deep comments. Best wishes to you for a wonderful day. Hugs 🌷☺

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree with your prospective. I remember when my young ones would “hear” a word or phrase and they would ask me what it meant. Sometimes I would tell them that when they got a little older, I would tell them. My son once asked me what “oral sex” was. I told him I would tell him when he got two years older (thinking he would forget about it.) He accepted my answer (I thought) and walked away. Being an incredibly smart little boy, he came back in the room and said “I know what it means!”
        (This was before Google and the internet.)
        He said “it’s when you talk about it!”
        I smiled and said “exactly.”

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Well you connected with it deeply. I appreciate that you fund my words so moving. I was just curious but always feel free to share your thoughts. ☺

        Liked by 1 person

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