In my younger, single days I relished the weekends! I had time to sit still for hours and just ‘be’, something I couldn’t do during the week since my job required constant travel (supervising field workers), or constant movement (on the job site as a field worker).
On the weekend, I would sip my coffee or tea and read the New York Times from cover to cover. Some cannot tolerate the Times for they consider it to be too long-winded, but I loved it for the depth and detail it offered. I still do, but I no longer have huge chunks of time to devote to such activities as before. In addition, since news comes from so many digital sources these days, I grab what I can from the TV, radio or smart phone, and even then it’s in quick bursts while making breakfast or on the train ride to work etc.
I get mad when the kids are in my ‘morning space’ (the few minutes while making breakfast when nothing is ready and they are not yet required to be at the table) because that’s when I’m listening to the news and weather to prep myself for the day. So much of my time is gobbled up by them otherwise and those few minutes are as precious as gold and not given away easily. And, if they are not in bed by 10 pm I’m a bit annoyed too, because for the sake of self preservation I need some ‘ME’ time!
As I get older, I feel the need to make sure my identity isn’t too wrapped up in my kids and what I want for them, but to preserve the person I am, separate from them and my job: a runner, a writer, amateur designer, experimental baker, an avid reader and whatever else I choose to dabble in.
I am aware that the person I am today could not have been possible without the influence they (my family) have had on my life, but embracing an identity separate from them is necessary especially so I don’t feel lost after they’re grown and gone.
Perhaps when they are gone I will have those chunks of time back, but that is still 20 years away and I would rather not wait that long. In the mean time, I continue to search for the right balance between my ‘passions’ and my ‘obligations’ and daydream constantly of a writing career that allows me to work from anywhere in the world as I embark on the travel vacation of a lifetime, well, at least my lifetime!
Life is a challenge, it has its rewards and frustrations, but the key to finding the balance that makes life worth living is to adjust our perspective — focus on the things that matter!
Writing is my therapy. And if by some chance my words have found a resting place in your ear, flooded your mind, or resonated in your heart then I am indeed humbled (and blessed) to have found a bit of solace — 1st by writing, 2nd by being heard, and 3rd by being understood. Thank you!
Image source: Google images
Contents written: February 2015
Originally published: February 2015
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