Short Stories

Shopping gone wrong!

He was a jovial bloke!

He saw his items
spread across the conveyor belt
and had a moment of buyer’s remorse.

“Oh my gosh,
what have I done!
My wife is going to kill me!”

His wife sent him
to do the shopping,
but then there was more —
much more!

He tried to justify each purchase
as he saw his grand total
creep higher and higher,
then shook his head in disbelief.

“How will he explain all this?”

He tested a few of his excuses on us
but they were more
hilarious than believable.
Funny thing is, he wasn’t kidding!

“I took a wrong turn
down the bread aisle,
and some how came face to face
with twinkies.
How was I supposed to escape
a trap like that? “

We laughed hysterically
as he continued
his elaborate confession.

“Then to add insult to injury,
I couldn’t make it in time
to the free store ‘giveaway’
because I got distracted
by the donuts and cookies.
So now the milk duds are just
to comfort my sadness.”

The tears were streaming
from my eyes by this time.
I was in stitches.
I tried to be professional
but it was useless.

He finally concluded
that the only thing
to save his life would be
to sneak his purchases
into the house.

“If I get caught,
I’m gonna blame her for
She should have known better
than to send me shopping alone!”

“At least I started of
with healthy choices:
fruits, veges, yogurt, and chicken.
But then it was all
downhill from there!
At least I should get
points for effort, right? “

We cackled ridiculously
as we wished him well
and sent him on his way.
He had good intentions and
no one can fault him for that.
After all, don’t we all?

He was the highlight of our day
and a good sport indeed!
I’ve since given him the name,
Mr. Good Intentions.

I doubt his wife
would see the humor
in any of his antics,
but he certainly was
an entertaining breath of fresh air.
May he rest in peace!


Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: March 27 2017
Originally published: March 27 2017
Copyright © 2016 Inner Ramblings Boulevard

6 thoughts on “Shopping gone wrong!”

    1. Yes, true story.
      I doubt his wife will let him out of the house anytime soon. For all intents and purposes, he’s grounded! Lmao 😁

      Liked by 2 people

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