Short Stories, single parenting

Things I thought I’d never say…

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This is not a restaurant!
And even if it were,
I’d never let you
Act like this to a waiter!
Now sit down,
Eat what’s in front of you,
And stop being a little brat!!!!

*******

Oh the wonderful joys of parenting!!! 😀

 


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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: December 17 2016
Originally published: December 17 2016
Copyright © 2016 Inner Ramblings Boulevard


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Poetry, Short Stories, single parenting

I love you more than you know

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Dear munchkin,
Yesterday, I enjoyed spending
a wonderful ‘Summer in March’
afternoon with you.

We sat by the pond
as we had a lovely snack.
You frolicking in the sun
while I sat in the shade.

We had ice cream before dinner
which was yumtastic!
We ate tater tots and fish sticks after
and I forgot all about the vegetables.
I’m sure you were delighted
by my absent mindedness!

We watched movies
then scampered to bed
when the power went out
during the thunderstorm.

Today I have fond memories
of our time together.
Thank you for being the bright part
of an otherwise sad day.

I love you more than you know.
-Mom-

 


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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: March 22 2017
Originally published: March 22 2017
Copyright © 2016 Inner Ramblings Boulevard


Poetry, Short Stories, single parenting

Cooking for one

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Diced potatoes and asparagus
Drizzled with
Roasted Red Pepper dressing.

Lightly salted;
Lightly flavored with
Dried Italian seasoning.

All ingredients
Tossed with a spoon
For even distribution.

Microwave 5 minutes,  toss. 
Microwave 5 more minutes,
Toss again.

Serve warm with grated cheddar
Or slightly chilled.
Enjoy!
🌷


My munchkin is a very picky eater so
I don’t enjoy cooking as much as I used to.
Exposing her to new foods is quite a challenge and I often end up eating most of a cooked meal by myself over the course of a few days.

To get her to eat,  I have to make her favorites and mark my words, she’ll only eat it the first day and never touch the leftovers. This is not my child. I’m convinced she was switched at birth!!!

Nevertheless, I’ll continue exposing her to new foods and hope she’ll one day outgrow her fussy ways. But in the mean time, I’ve decided to make a meal just for myself as described above. I need to be catered to every once in a while, don’t you agree? It can’t always be about her!

So, if you’d like to try my latest ‘meal just for me’ here are the ingredients:
– 1 Irish potato (diced or cubed)
– 2 pieces asparagus (diced)
– dash of salt
– 2 tbsp roasted red pepper vinaigrette dressing
– parsley flakes (light sprinkle)
– dried Italian seasoning (light sprinkle)
– grated cheddar cheese (optional)

NB: the image above is burrowed from Google as I didnt think to take a photo at the time. Perhaps next time. ☺

 


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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: March 17 2917
Originally published: March 18 2017
Copyright © 2016 Inner Ramblings Boulevard


Music is Oxygen, single parenting

Party at my house

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Munchkin has been obsessed with the soundtrack for the movie “Trolls”. I have to admit it’s a pretty good soundtrack. She’s been playing it all day. By far this is my favorite song of all. Love the beat and the bass. Have a listen and tell me what you think! Enjoy! 🌷

 

 

Song: “Justin Timberlake, Gwen Stefani & Ron Funches – Hair Up [Audio]”

 


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Image source: Google images
Video source: YouTube
Contents compiled: March 4 2017
Originally published: March 4 2017
Copyright © 2016 Inner Ramblings Boulevard


Short Stories, single parenting, toddlers

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?!!!!!

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I showered and dressed.
In the quiet of the bathroom
I could hear the sound
of scissors clipping
in the other room.

 

Me (thinking):
Hmm,  is she cutting up paper again?

 

As I open the the bathroom door
I heard the shuffle and rattle
of her trying to shove
the box of toys under the bed.
In her hand was a pair
of very sharp scissors.

 

Me:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!

Munchkin:
I’m cutting my hair!

 

Horrified at her response,
I froze with my mouth wide open.

 

Me:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU’RE CUTTING YOUR HAIR?

Munchkin:
Well you’ve been promising
to cut my hair for a long time
because it’s so tangled!

Plus, I’ve been asking you
for the scissors for 3 days!
Three days mom!

I finally found them today.
You took too long mom
that’s why I had to do it myself!!!

Me:
Huh?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

 

I was puzzled:
first by her logic,
second by her tone of voice, 
third by her facial expressions
and fourth by her hand gestures.

I wasn’t sure if to be amused, 
because she gave a response
I would give or
be horrified or mad
at what she just did!

I looked at her head,
There were chunks missing.
I pulled out the box,
There were several clumps —
Her ponytail was gone!

I reached for her hand
to guide her to the bathroom
since the light was better there.
She backed away.

 

Munchkin:
Mom, are you going to punish me?

Me:
No dear.
You’ll have enough punishment
when you go to school tmrw.

Munchkin:
Will my teacher punish me?

Me:
No dear, but I’m sure
she’ll wonder what happened!

 

Silently we walked to the bathroom.
I declined to explain what I meant

by my statement regarding
her punishment at school
as I didn’t want her to think
staying home was an option.

Upon further inspection
I figured there was enough
length left in some places
to do a creative combover.

Thankfully,  her hair is curly.
That helped to camouflage
much of the damage.
I would have to write her teacher
a note.

Perhaps it would read
something like this:

“Dear Ms S,
Please pardon my daughter’s hair
but it was all her doing
and not my version
of ‘Haircuts Gone Wild!’ ”

Munchkin could see
the horror on my face.
She was confused
she wasn’t punished.

She was confused
that I was mostly silent
with the occasional mumble,
“What did you do?
What did you do?”

In her attempt to console me
she said something interesting.

 

Munchkin:
Mom,  it’s okay!
There’s no need to worry.
My hair will grow back!

You cut your hair all the time
and it grows back, right?
Well mine will grow back too!

Me:
Yes,  you’re right!

 

In that moment
I stopped worrying
and we both went to bed.

But it wasn’t until morning
as I was getting her
ready for school
did I discovered
more clumps of hair
were falling out.
The damage was
worse than I thought.

I concealed my displeasure.
She was going to school
at all costs!
This is her problem today.
A combover is all I can muster
when the school bus is only
10 minutes away.

I scribbled a note to her teacher
and we dashed out the door.

She returned from school that day
and the next in good spirits.
No one had made fun of her
and there were no requests
from her to stay home from school
because of her hair.
Perhaps no one noticed!

But the damage
was apparent to me
and I had to fix it
so her hair grew back evenly.

Everytime I take a shower
my daughter uses that opportunity
to exert her independence,
and without fail
my default exclamation has been, 
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!!“

Thursday January 19 2017
was no different and I’m sure
there are many more incidents to come.

Thanks for reading about my adventures with my munchkin, ☺🌷

Hugs,
A

 
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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: January 23 2017
Originally published: January 23 2017
Copyright © 2016 Inner Ramblings Boulevard


Short Stories, single parenting

“So where’s the mister?”

On Friday, February 5 2016, we were blessed to have a new addition to the family. Her name is Meena. It took three people to deliver her: one to push,  one to pull and one to watch! Men!!!  I felt like I was at a construction site. Why does it take so many guys to do one job?

In all honesty, Meena was a lot bigger than I expected,  and when they brought her to me I thought they were mistaken, but the information checked out and,  yep,  she was mine, all 200 pounds of her, and she’s gorgeous! What do you think?

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See,  Meena is one of the Christmas presents I got myself in a sweet post-holiday sale. We also got a new sofa,  and a few things for the bedroom but only Meena got named. Perhaps because she’s the most expensive  appliance I’ve ever bought outside of the treadmill and embroidery sewing machine I purchased years ago but no longer have. And perhaps because she’ll be earning her keep with my enormous laundry duties as my previous washer just couldn’t keep up.

I’ve wanted Meena for a long time, much like I’ve wanted my munchkin. Don’t get me wrong, I was blessed to have two wonderful boys, but though I wanted to be a mom I wasn’t quite ready, I was young. I love my darling boys but the experience was quite different with them as mom disrupted many opportunities for us to bond adequately and this caused quite a bit of friction over the years. Many things didn’t go according to plan and I wished I’d done some things differently. Munchkin, was my last chance to make up for all the mishaps, and when she finally came I was married and ready to be settled. Also, I handpicked my dog from the animal shelter because I was ready for a pet.

Meena is a dream come true. She’s part of the family now and will play an integral role, hopefully bringing many years of “joy” to our temporary home and even more when we find someplace more permanent in the future.

When I opened the door, I was taken aback by how big she was. Yes I measured the space etc, but the picture in my head didn’t match what she actually looked like. It looked smaller online, probably because it wasn’t standing next to an actual household item. Oh well… She’s here, she’s healthy, so she stays!

As the delivery guys wheeled her in, Guy #1 asked,

Where do you want to put this bad boy?

Bad boy? Why did he assume it was a boy? Couldn’t they see her girly features?

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Look at those cute, round buttons?

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She’s so adorable!

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Everything about her says she’s a girl! But I guess stuff like this happens all the time. That’s why mom’s dress new babies in distinct colors to quell all the confusion. On second thought, I should have ordered it in pink? I’m certain munchkin would have loved that! ☺

But back to the guys…
They rolled her into place, plugged her in, then attempted to connect the hoses promptly informing me they were not allowed, by company policy, to attach hoses under the sink, so as not to be held liable for any leaks.

Me:

Not that I’ll say anything should there be a leak, but okay, no problem, just tell me where they go and I’ll do it myself, it’s no big deal!

With that, Guy #2, probably assuming I’d make a mess of things, got under the sink and attempted to screw in the connections. Ten seconds later her emerged,

the hoses are too short, you need longer hoses.

Me:

Wait! What? I paid extra for reinforced hoses, why do I now need to purchase new hoses?

Guy #1:

Because a standard connection, where the hookups are on the wall, the hoses only need to be 4 feet long and that’s what these are. But since yours need to reach under the sink, you’ll need 6 foot hoses.

Me:

Damn! So you mean I can’t test drive this baby today? I wanted to make sure it worked before you guys left! Ok, just tell me what to buy and I’ll hook it up myself.

Meanwhile, Guy #3 has been standing off to the side the whole time just looking. Not quite sure what his role was as he never said a word. Perhaps moral support? (Men, I really don’t get this. Here’s your chance to enlighten me… I want to learn the meaning of your ways!!! )

Guy #1:

So where’s the mister?

Me:

There’s no mister. I’m the ‘Jane of all trades’ around here. Tell me what needs to be done and I’ll do it. That hose you see under there, I connected that myself for use with my tiny washer, which is now in the closet. Just write down what I need so I don’t forget!

And with that, he wrote on the back of the delivery forms what hoses I needed to buy, I signed the papers, gave them a tip, and they were gone.

Twenty minutes later (maybe less), my washing machine was connected via the VERY hoses with which it came. That extra hose from the previous washer, served as an extention for the ONE HOSE that was too short to reach the hot water inlet. Voila, problem solved and money saved!

See guys? It’s never good to underestimate a woman!

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Meena is quite, does her job beautifully and is already a huge asset to us. All those nights of laundry duties just to keep up are gone now. I can now slow my pace to two large loads every three days. Whew, what a relief! I can finally get some rest!!! Munchkin and I are still at odds over the final name since she flops back and forth between Meena and Cinderella. I just have to convince her that she, whatever her name is, is NOT a toy! (Thank goodness I purchased additional 5 yr warranty. If they can’t fix it they’ll replace it.)

So what do you think of my Meena?
Which name do you prefer?
Do you have names for your the things you can’t live without?

As always, thanks for stopping by. Go hug your favorite appliance and have a great day! 😀

Hugs,
A.


Contents written: Feb 10 2016 | Originally published: February 16 2016  |  © 2016 Moylom Enterprises


HUMOR, Short Stories, single parenting

Made-up words and phrases

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Google images

‘Bubble-water’ is a ‘home-grown’ or made-up phrase I use to describe seltzer or sparkling water.

I started using this term when munchkin was around 2 or 3 yrs old as I needed a way to differentiate between that and regular water. Surprisingly, the term has now become normal in our house because, well, we all know what it means!

Recently, however, I caught myself using our ‘homegrown’ phrase in the real world and was quite amazed the recipient of my ‘word spill’  understood what I meant and didn’t need me to clarify. Seems we weren’t that odd after all!

So, in light of my recent mishap, what ‘homegrown’ or made-up word did you use in conversation outside your home that made things awkward or amusing? Excited to hear all about it!

Thanks as always for stopping by.

Hugs,
A🌷

 


Contents compiled: September 1 2016
Originally published: September 13 2016
Copyright © 2016 Moylom Enterprises