Poetry

When humor hurts…

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The ripe sarcasm
Of your words, said in jest,
Cut deep under my skin,
But are never accompanied 
By any soothing nuances
To let me know
You have a soul
Under your exterior of humor.

Laughter, they say,
Is good medicine
For the soul.
But it seems
You laugh to hide
Your inability to show love.

Perhaps you show love
In a way I cannot comprehend.
Perhaps I don’t recognize it
Because it’s not
The kind of love I need.

How sad,
That after all this time
You don’t understand me at all.
How frustrating
That I can’t discuss this with you
Without starting a fight.

I don’t want to fight,
I don’t want to hurt you.
I rather spend
The remainder of your days
Creating happy memories
For you are the only one left.

But, how gut-wrenching,
That there will always be
An underlying sense of insincerity,
For there is no humor
To ever compensate
For love not felt
From one’s own mother.

 


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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: October 3 2016
Originally published: October 4 2016
Copyright © 2016 Moylom Enterprises


Short Stories, Uncategorized

Stress eating…

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I walked into my doctor’s office Friday in good spirits, happy to report my body was adjusting nicely to the new meds as he had hoped, but by the time I left I was no longer in good spirits.

See, 3 doctors at my facility called in sick that day, so all the other doctors had to double up on patients. Sadly, my chart ended up on another doctor’s roster as my doctor was fully booked — If I wanted to wait for him it would be at least 2 hours. Yikes!

My substitute doctor, was a very matter-of-fact, older woman, clearly with many years of service under her belt. She seemed to know what she was doing and it was nice to have a second opinion as I’ve been seeing the same doctor for roughly a year. Unfortunately, the second opinion she gave is not the news I expected to hear that day.

She offered an extra option I don’t recall being offered by my regular doctor. But it involved more medication and it’s a path I frown upon because I don’t like too many drugs in my system. My regular doctor knows me well enough to conclude I prefer options that don’t require too many drugs, but he also understands I will go the route of drugs if it can prevent surgery. Needless to say, if all my current courses of action don’t solve my problem, surgery is back on the table.

I’ve been a bit melancholy since I got that news. On top of all the heavy decisions I need to make, the last thing I needed was more freaking life changing decisions! To be honest, I left the doctor’s office feeling worse than when I went in. I needed to either be alone to wallow or to be cheered up, pronto !

Going home to a 4 year old and a dog who would both need my attention meant there would be no immediate time or space for wallowing, so I had to think of a fun activity fast!

When I’m stressed I need comfort food. I’ve been craving chicken wings for some time but I was in no mood to go home and cook. For once I wanted to feel as if someone was taking care of me, instead of me always taking care of EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING, so we went to the closest place that could satisfy my cravings, Popeyes. In all honesty, what I really wanted was KFC since I could get the grilled (healthier) option, but there is no KFC in my area so Popeyes had to suffice. I so wish KFC would get with the program and deliver already! Sigh…

I haven’t had Popeyes in roughly 5 or 6 years, so munchkin took a while to decide what she wanted. And as picky as she is, I must say we had a good time. It was fun to see her be brave enough to try something new, and it was comforting to have my cravings satisfied. There are many more cravings I haven’t had satisfied in ages, but hey, that’s a whole other post. ☺

It’s safe to say I’ll be on edge for the next few days as I deal with all this, but for now, forgive me if I’m not as chipper as normal. My head is spinning with so much going on and sometimes it all feels like there’s just too much on my plate. Sure could use a hug…

Thanks as always for stopping by. Forgive my melancholy. I’ll be ok soon.

Hugs,
A.

 


Image source: Google images
Contents written: October 3 2016
Originally published: October 3 2016
Copyright © 2016 Moylom Enterprises