Short Stories, Uncategorized

Die Laughing

 

Yahoo images: drinkfromthedeep.org
Yahoo images: drinkfromthedeep.org

I spent most of the day in deep thought. I worked alone this shift, so there was no one to interrupt and it felt great!  The trouble with giving my mind such freedom though, is that it can wonder down some pretty dark roads, get lost in peculiar places or rest comfortably in familiar spots that bring comfort and joy. Well, that’s exactly what happened — all of it!!!
I contemplated life (past, present and future); fantasized about vacation; worried about my ailments; fretted about the possibility of needing surgery; thought about making drastic changes to my apartment (tax refund still pending); and some where along the way (I don’t know why) I thought of my own death. Yikes!!

In the midst of all this madness, a WordPress notification came in. Someone had responded to a comment I made last night about a post that was so hilarious I laughed til I cried and that’s exactly what I wrote on the comment! Then abstractly, another thought popped into my noggin,  “when I die I want to die laughing”.  Yeah, my brain actually went there!

You see, happiness has been somewhat illusive for me over the years, and the last 3 years have been especially rough. As a result, laughter has been great medicine for me lately and has done wonders for this broken soul.  So yes,  if I were to die today,  I would want it that way — laughing hysterically, on the floor, happy!

So without further ado, here’s the post that had me in stitches last night and has now prompted today’s offering to you.  Enjoy!

Originally posted on :https://butchcountry67.wordpress.com/

A Man posts Hilarious account of what it’s like to give a cat a pill.

 

*Originally published May 2015


Contents written: May 27 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises


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Short Stories, Uncategorized

“It’s 5 pm, time for dinner!” says the dog.

I’ve had my dog ever since she was 7 months old — rescued her from the ASPCA. She is now 8 years old and all this time I have never fed her at 5 pm, well at least not on a consistent basis. As a matter of fact, I am usually not home until 6:30 or 7 pm so most of our dinners, and hers, have been during that time frame.

But on the weekends, or if I happen to have a day off during the week, doggy starts to do a weird little ‘stare you down until you move’ routine that has me quite puzzled. Why? Because every time I make a trip to the kitchen for a snack she gets a little treat too so she is not starving and can totally wait until the usual dinner hour, but for some strange reason she acts as if she hasn’t eaten all day, or in months for that matter.

She sighs heavily, she moans, she walks over to her food bowl then walks back to me. She puts on the most pitiful face I ever did see, then licks me where ever she can find exposed skin, then moans some more. If it weren’t for the fact that I knew she had been given snacks prior to this display of utter starvation, I would have totally fallen for her antics. But because I know better, it is nothing more than a hilarious ‘bit’ that I now know she is capable of. Why she is so smart and then conveniently doesn’t understand when I tell her to go stand by the door when it’s time to go outside is beyond me but this dog of mine is quite the drama queen worthy of an ‘Actress of the year’ award.

Dogs are just like kids — they are funny, brilliant, capable of mass destruction within a short space of time (seconds), and they are so cute you can’t help but love them, antics and all. So, here I am looking at the clock and waiting for my beloved pooch to put on another performance which I hope to one day get on tape. Perhaps I WILL feed her at 5 pm today — why not? She’s put a lot of hard work into her past performances — she should be rewarded. Right?

“And the award goes to…Drum roll please? …”

 

*Originally published: December 2014


Contents written: 12.26.2014 |  Copyright 2014 Moylom Enterprises