Went to bed achy and tired. Proceeded to sleep through all 3 alarms, and still managed to get munchkin to school on time. Yes!!!
I’m at the gym getting my sweat on and ready to roar at the world! Well, not really, I can only muster a little meow, so I’ll have to work my way up to a roar. ☺
There’s no Java in my system today, but I’m listening to DJ Tiesto and his music certainly puts a workout into high gear. I feel a growl coming on, so by the time I’m done here you’ll hear me roar from where ever you are. 😀
Have a freakin happy Friday. Let’s make this day count! #PUSH
Being curled up in a ball is great for a fetus or newborn, because it’s all their bodies know as their muscles aren’t strong enough to do much else.
This position is one to which adults revert when in utter despair as it speaks to our helplessness — our muscles reluctant to move because we lack the will to make them do so. And in a strange way, this ball-like position brings a sense of comfort when there’s no one around to comfort us.
Our grownup bodies, however, have additional knowledge of being stretched out/erect; of walking and not being carried and of being in control of our desired movements. As a result, the curled-up posture soon gets old. We extend our limbs, we feel our heart beating, we feel our lungs filling with air, we know there’s blood flowing through our veins, we know we’re alive, and we know it’s the only life we’ve got for better or worse. So we rise, for it’s what our bodies must do to function, to survive and to thrive. Without moving to lubricate the joints and strengthen the muscles, we will become infirmed, seized, and without purpose.
Alas, that was me on Saturday — Curled up in a ball and crying helplessly behind closed doors. I felt unappreciated, frustrated and it didn’t help that I was also very tired! Why? Because Munchkin and I had been at war for days.
It started on Thursday. I left home extra early because I had a huge workload then a meeting with munchkin’s teacher (parent teacher conference). But things started on a downward spiral, as my train was one of many experiencing delays due to a stalled train up ahead (sick passenger). I didn’t panic then as I was early so I just read while we waited for service to resume. However, there were frustrated patrons all around as they were clearly running late (normally me). By the time service resumed we only went a few stops before we were kicked off our train. Great! Now I was mad as I was only two stops away from my destination.
“Go back 4 stops to get the express train which will take you to Jay Street and beyond,” the announcement said.
Freakin’ Awesome!!!! Thanks #MTA!!! How were we to know we wouldn’t go back and get stuck again? At that point we were better off taking our chances above ground, so we excited the station and walked. To make matters worse it was FREEZING!
By the time I got to work I was cold to the bone and quite cranky! A quick cup of coffee, a breakfast sandwich (homemade), and I dove right into my assignment. Pushing at maximum force from start to finish, I made it back for munchkin’s pickup in time then to meet her teacher.
I was so proud to hear of all the progress she had made since she started school and that she’s on target for what she needs to know to start kindergarten in the Fall. I thought a little celebration was appropriate but being so tired, taking our dinner to go so we’d be home and warm that very cold night made more sense. Unfortunately, munchkin did not agree and had a major tantrum all the way home. That bus ride, though only perhaps 5 minutes, was excruciating. Upon arrival home I’d had enough! How could this kid, who just got a splendid report from her teacher, be the cause of this much frustration now? How could she be an angel at school and such a monster with me? It just didn’t seem fair! After all, I was the one bearing the brunt of burden. When I up at 4am to start my day her teacher is still fast asleep. When I’m still cranking away at work to make it to her pickup by 6:30pm her teacher is already home unwinding. I don’t get to shift gears until she goes to sleep at 9:30 (which I’ve learned, her teacher is already asleep).
I sat her down, in hopes to find answers to my questions but there were none. Of course not, she’s 4 yrs old! Clearly I’m not being rational because I’m utterly MAD , SAD , and feeling completely UNAPPRECIATED . The happy family dinner celebration was off. I gave her her meal, fed the dog, took my meal to my room and SLAMMED the door! I wanted to be alone. In effect, I too was having a tantrum for I was way too tired to make sense of any of it!
The damage was done, and the fighting continued into Friday. There would be no stopping at the store for treats or eating out for the next week and no bus ride home either as punishment = walking home. Until behavior improved those restrictions remained in effect.
By Saturday, there was more of the same and I SO wish I had a magic wand to wisk myself away to a tranquil spa to be pampered and cared for professionally. TLC, oh how I miss thee! But instead, there I was, curled up in a ball where I stayed until I’d had enough of the pity party.
Were things back to normal? No. Was I strong enough to arise and press on? I had no choice as there’s no one to whom I can delegate so rise I did!
I understand that munchkin was frustrated, for it was the weekend and she had no distractions of school or daycare to relieve the burden. She was stuck with me. I too had no respite of work to clear my head so I felt trapped as well.
I know I’m supposed to rise above the madness and count every trial as an opportunity for growth, but sometimes, in my human(ness), it all feels like a bit too much — like there’s 200 lbs resting on top of my petite frame and I’m struggling to break free! (Thanks for that Great analogy R).
But as I’ve learned…
There is no shame
in admitting our weaknesses,
for in so doing,
we know to seek the strength we need
from He who is OMNIPOTENT.
Only in God are we strong
and all we have to do is keep the faith.
~Moylom Enterprises March 2016~
As Sunday rolled around, munchkin and I managed to salvage half the day after a very long talk about caring about the feelings of others and how to show appreciation. Alas, I’m pleased to say, things are looking up. We had a great Monday and Tuesday was even better as we resumed our bus rides home and a a quick stop at the store was a well received reward! ☺
So folks, thanks for putting up with me today. I’ve certainly given you an ear full but what are friends for, right? Here’s to better and brighter days 🍻 , and thanks for stopping by.
I ran a marathon last week!
Well, no I didn’t, but it certainly felt like it! Sunday was the birthday party, Monday to Thursday was busy, busy, busy! I was on fire and operating at maximum output, #Push.
However, I woke up Friday morning, thinking it was Saturday, only to discover a half hour later it was indeed Friday! Color me screwed!!!!
It went something like this…
5:30 wake up
I’m already an hour behind schedule. I’m gonna have to skip a few things
6:15 showered, dressed, and making breakfast
Nothing fancy, just whatever’s fast. Coffee, bread with peanut butter, few spoons of Oatmeal (no time to finish the whole cup), vitamins.
6:45 wake munchkin, get her to the table
Chocolate milk, vitamins (her real breakfast is at school, 8am, before class starts )
7:10 Done with dishes, get munchkin rinsed and dressed, fast.
Munchkin not cooperating. SHE ALWAYS DOES THIS WHEN WE’RE LATE. ARRGGG!!!
7:35 Dash down the stairs to walk the dog.
We’re really supposed to be heading to the bus stop. Cutting it way too close (bus to the train = two-fare zone)
7:42 Dash to the bus stop
There’s only one person. Seems we’ve already missed the 7:45. No sign of the 7:50 bus in the distance. Gonna have to take a cab or munchkin will be late.
8:07 Only 3 mins before the class door closes. Yes, we made it!
8:15 At the gym.
Only have time for a 30 min. workout. (10 mins abs, 20 mins high intensity [level 12] on the elliptical machine, 10 mins to change, 5 mins to run back to munchkin’s school )
9:00 Dashing back to munchkin’s school. Seated by 9:06
100 Days of School celebration, Black History Month celebration, Family Friday, Read to munchkin’s class… I volunteer for this once per month (celebrations ran long, decided to cancel the story reading, her teacher agreed, kids were tired)
11:30 Grocery shopping
1:30 Back home. Starving! Unpack groceries. Quick lunch.
2:00 pm Exhausted. Need a nap.
4:30 Cooking dinner
5:45 Dishes washed, kitchen cleaned, dog fed.
6:00 Dashing out the door to pickup munchkin from daycare (afterschool). Take trash and recycling on the way out.
7:30 pm Back home, dog walked, dinner, dishes.
9:30 pm showered and in bed, a bit of reading.
Had I not napped I’d be in dreamland instead of reading (and writing this post). Tomorrow, Saturday, I rest ALL DAY. It’s my ritual. (Six days shall I labor but rest on the seventh as per God’s instructions in Genesis Chap 1)
So, you good folks, that was my MadDash week in review, how was yours? Thanks as always for reading.
Today’s gym visit, an unforeseen day off, arrived on the heels of a thorough workout yesterday. I should have been resting my muscles a bit, but since I won’t get another workout in until next week, and I also needed to shake off this funk I’ve been in the past few days, I figured I might as well make the best of the free time.
I was cautioned to stay away from running until my body was stronger, but the elliptical machines don’t give me the burn I yearn for deep down. Yes, they get the blood pumping and the muscles moving but something always feels insufficient. So determined to get rid of the sadness I’ve been feeling lately, I walked right past those darned ellipticals and headed for the row of empty treadmills.
I picked one against the back wall so my demise, should it come, wouldn’t be witnessed by many. I selected the random setting, as memories of running the course in Prospect Park, NY and how great I felt afterwards flooded my mind vividly. Far be it for me to pick something easy to start off with, oh no!!! I had the audacity to select level 3 at a pace of 5 mph. Try running at that pace with hills as a new runner? “You’ve lost your mind!!!” my brain screamed. “Yes, and I’m going to run until I lose my aching heart too!” I snapped in brazen frustration.
5 minutes of hell
I punched in my weight (I will never tell) and the time (20 mins) then hit start. The closed captioned TV turned on and I was off. Two minutes in, my pace was strong, my breathing was fine, then the first incline indicator blinked on the monitor— a hill was up ahead! I began to feel the pressure, my lungs needed more air, my heart was pumping harder, and I needed to focus on my breathing. Eyes off the TV, I looked down at my feet – “FOCUS!!!” My lungs were struggling by then, the first 5 minutes are by far the hardest of any run, “Breathe dammit, BREATHE!!!” My pace was steady, my heart was pushing, I was almost at the top of the hill, and I felt my lungs open wide. They got the air they needed; I was no longer panting (and coughing); I was finally breathing at a normal pace, I think… Either that, or I was about to pass out!
The course finally began to decline, THANK GOODNESS! My pace was perfect, and I was actually able to follow along with the show ‘The Talk’. It was almost ten minutes by then and I was getting tired. I needed to take it easy if I had to make it the other ten. So I slowed my pace to a 3.7mph brisk walk to regain my composure. I felt my abs tuck in as my core steadied my balance – Nice! That is what I’d been missing! That was the rush of distraction I needed to chase away the blues! I gathered my thoughts; increased my pace to 4.7 mph and started running again.
5 minutes of heaven
I looked down at my feet again to focus on my breathing. It was easier now that my heart was at maximum output, so I steadied myself and drank it all in. I was sweating hard and I was NOT gonna stop ‘til the clock said 20 mins. I was giving it all I had and I could feel the burn! I remembered the days of doing a 3 mile, 60 min run, nonstop, EASY! But there I was struggling to do a silly 20 minutes. Then I remembered how long it took me to get to those first 20 minutes back when I was new to running. So I cheered myself up,
“Chin up Chica, you’ll be running 3 miles again in no time, just make it to this 20 mins. One step at a time, girl, you’ll be fierce again, you got this!”
Well I did make it to 20 mins, and I felt really proud of myself. And then I remembered the high – that natural high I always got from a good run. My body was finally awake; no need for a second, third or fourth cup of coffee to get me in gear. I was feeling the burn and loving it — that was my little slice heaven.
So here’s to the good days that cancel out the bad. Chin up my friends, baby steps until you’re ready for longer strides. I believe in you YOU’VE GOT THIS!!!
So my first day at the gym (Nov 23 2015) was a smashing success! And by smashing I mean: why did all those machines attack me? Omg, everything hurts! OUCH!!
I deliberately focused on parts of the body that weren’t being targeted in physical therapy as I aim for a total body workout, and today, I’m paying the price for my bad judgement reaping the benefits of my brilliance! Yeah, I’m walking funny! Don’t laugh. But as they say,
Physical therapy has ended and my follow up visit to the Rehab doctor ( Nov 20 2015) gave me the green light to proceed to the gym, but with caution, to prevent further injury.
There were no personal trainers available at 8:30am for my startup 30 minute free session so I proceeded slowly as warned. It’s been ages since I’ve been a member of any gym (8 yrs) so it took me a while to figure out some of the newer machines I’d never seen before. I did okay, eventually, and 2 hours later I had worked up quite a sweat and had the sore muscles to prove it.
For now my schedule will only allow one visit per week, as was the case with physical therapy, but I’ll do the doctor recommended muscle strengthening exercises at home in between until I can fit in more days at the gym.
So here’s to excruciating pain and wishing for death feeling the burn and loving it!
Note: Image 1 to 3 source: Google images
Contents written: November 23 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises