Poetry, Short Stories

Losing my mind

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I locked my self out of my home on Friday.
I had to go to the mgmt office to get a key.
This is something I just never do.
I had my lunch bag but left my pocketbook.

This is frustrating.
I’ve been misplacing things a lot lately.
Many changes in my life
Have left me emotionally frayed.

The stress is taking a physical toll.
And now the mental effects are showing.
I feel Iike I’m losing my mind.
I’m scared!

This is not like me.
I’ve never been this physically shaken.
I’ve never been this mentally frayed.
I’m trying to find clarity.
I need to get over this but I just feel lost.

I’m not good at pretending.
I’m not good at faking happiness.
I can’t sell hopefulness in the face of doubt.
I’m not good at smiling through the pain.

I’m sorry if that doesn’t sit right with you.
I’m sorry I’m not my upbeat self.
I’m just struggling.
I’m not used to this uncertainty.

I’m just being real.
I’m just being myself.
I’m sorry if that’s not who you came to see.
But that’s all I know how to be.

I’m sorry…

 


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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: December 18 2016
Originally published: December 18 2016
Copyright © 2016 Inner Ramblings Boulevard


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Poetry, Uncategorized

Overwhelmed…

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Tired woman equals emotional mom.
Tired woman equals angry mom.
Tired woman equals quiet mom.
Tired woman equals overwhelmed mom.

She won’t stop getting in trouble.
She won’t stop asking a million questions.
She won’t stop asking me for her things.
She won’t stop pushing my buttons.

Trying to keep order in all this chaos.
Trying to make decisions for three lives.
Trying to maintain my composure.
Trying to make sense of it all but can’t.

Hoping I’m doing the right thing.
Hoping this promise of a better future is real.
Hoping my plans are what God wants for me.
Hoping my fears will not consume me.

Perhaps she senses my fear.
Perhaps she doesn’t understand the chaos.
Perhaps she is trying to make sense of it too.
Perhaps she simply needs me to hold her.

We’ll be ok, she and I.
We’ll find a way to keep what we have left.
We’ll be ok all three of us.
We’ll find a way to save our little family.

 

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Image source: Google images
Contents written: September 15 2016
Originally published: September 15 2016
Copyright © 2016 Moylom Enterprises